Crazy MuthaBucker

Right. So. Where to begin....
I am slowly coming out of the fog that is new-motherdom. Although, we are already 5 months in.
Here are the deets -
DOB: 19th June 2011
Time: 4.04am
Wgt: 3.25kg
Hgt: 51cm
Name: Dashiell William Amor

After 20 hours of labour, our little man was deemed "stubborn" and so arrived via C-Section.

I had every intention on being an awesome new-mum type who kept the blog up-to-date with all the hilarity that is a new baby. But, well, I was too tired.
Slowly however, I intend on getting back into some sort of blogging, and by that I mean, I intend on getting back into life. A day in a shopping centre does not constitute a day out dammit!!!

Oh, here is a picture of our beautiful boy!

So it's been a few months ....

So I have left a job, an apartment, a suburb, a state and moved in with a man and some kids and gotten new jobs and well, I am also growing a real proper human baby person. Pretty much why I have not posted for a while.


I am sure I will figure a way to describe in words rather than facial expressions what's been going on and how I feel about it all. In the meantime, imagine a facial expression caught somewhere between unbridled happiness and sheer terror.

Now imagine it just slightly prettier.
Thanks, my self esteem needed that.

I'll owe you one!

So I am looooong overdue for an update and I do indeed have a hell of a lot to write about.
Only problem is, I feel so overwhelmed by all the bits and bobs going on in my head as well as my actual day to day life, that to sit down and start writing about it is well, a tad too much just now.

Instead, I will owe you one. As soon as I can clear the thoughts from fuzzy emotions into actual sentences containing proper thoughts and ideas (at the moment, my inner dialogue is merely making a series of ahhhh's and ohhhh's as well as the occasional gasp and then giggle. Useless really!)

In the meantime, here is a teaser - I am moving out of my flat (where I have been residing the last 5 years). I am leaving my job on January 21st (where I have been working for the last 10 years) AND I am relocating to Melbourne (where I have been stealing kisses from for nearly 4 years). Yeah. When I change, I mutha-flipping change!!!

And with that, Merry Christmas and New Year! All the best to you and your families!!! Be well and be safe and be happy!
xxx

How I became an old lady. At 34.

This morning as I left my apartment, I found a small box of chocolates and a note hanging from my door handle:

"Dear Amanda, I would really like to apologise for the way my friends behaved last night and that you had to find the mess that you did...."

Yep. I am that neighbour. The one who knocks on the door of your apartment and says "I am so embarrassed to have to say this but, could you please pick up your rubbish and keep the noise down as I have to work early in the morning ..."

Surely there was a time when I was the one at the receiving end of such complaints? Actually, no. Looking back, no. Not even once. Oh there was that one time my neighbour decided to bang on my wall at 11am on a Sunday because I was laughing too loud.
Actually my laugh is about the only thing people have complained to me about. Which, when you really think about it is absurd! "Please keep the happy to a minimum M'am as some of us have to be killjoys in the morning!"

I won't lie, I am now quite embarrassed about the incident that drove my neighbours to buying chocolates and writing apologies. It means I have to be on my best behaviour for I have cast the first stone ... And I don't want to have to hang my head in shame and buy little boxes of Ferrer Rocher in an attempt to keep the peace! NO! I shall not! You watch how quiet I can be! And neat!!!

Oh let's face it. I am an old Nanna and I know it. I am the first to give a pursed lip "uh uhuh" look to a child who wants to put their grubby hands all over the magazines while in queue at the checkout. I tut-tut the cigarette butt droppers and if you think its OK to "taste" a grape before you buy it, well, you and I are not of the same breed.

No, I might as well let my pantyhose sag around my knees and let my chin hair grow to its unrealised glory - I am a 34 year old Nanna. And proud of it.

Rainyface and Bobo

These photos make me giggle still - such a great memory from a great time.

Good Bye Uncle John

Recently my Mum rang me. It was early in the morning -well, early for her- and so immediately I felt like something was amiss.
She said that John O'Leary had died. She said it twice. I heard her clearly, but still needed her to repeat it - but it could not have been true. John O'Leary could not have died. No way. This was just not possible.
Immediately, like we do with death, my head was swimming with thoughts and regrets. When was the last time I saw him? What had we spoken about? Did he know I loved him and that although he technically was my Dad's cousin and not actually my Uncle, I thought of him in every way as my Uncle and that my childhood is littered with stories and memories of Uncle John.
He was that man. You know, the one who was a rodeo champion in the Northern Territory, that went on a crazy cowboy adventure through New Zealand, who was a prison warden at Goulburn Gaol, who was a beekeeper, who was a fisherman, who was a handyman, who was a storyteller, who was a larrikan. Who was a character. Who was the joy and laughter of every family gathering.
The last few times I have gone to Goulburn, it has been to attend a funeral. We would usually have met at Uncle Johns. We would have also gone back to Uncle Johns after the service, to talk, remember, laugh. How could it be that there we would all be again, but this time for Uncle John? It was just not right. I still struggle to believe he is not going to enter the room asking if any of the guys need a beer or if the ladies need their wine glasses refilled.
And his wife. Marleine. I cannot stop thinking about her. These two people made marriage look great. Only last year they renewed their vows. I cannot stop thinking how lucky it was they did that. How happy together they have been for years and years. I hurt for Marleine. I have no idea how she must feel. But by gosh did he love her. That's a pretty comforting thought. He loved her and she loved him and we all knew it.
Perhaps it is because of the age similarities that I have also dwelled a little too long about my parents and what will happen when.... well, I don't even want to write it.
I have actually been surprised by how moved I have been. Both at the feeling of loss but also at the warmth and comfort I have seen throughout my family. I don't think I have ever hugged my brother so tightly.
It's been a sad week - and I think there are some sad times to come - but I am so so lucky. To be a part of a family like mine, well, I will never take that for granted for a minute. Nor will I ever forget what a great man John O'Leary was. He is going to be missed, but as they say, he won't be forgotten. Not for a long long time. That is for sure.

Happy Good Time Excitement Adventures!

The last couple of weeks have been pretty exciting.
I have been lucky enough to score a few gigs, which I never want to take for granted, but most excitingly, I went to the USA.
A few of my favourite people (both personally and professionally) went to New York to perform in the Upright Citizens Brigade's annual Del Close Marathon. It's basically laughapalooza for improv - over 50 hours non-stop-back-to-back-across-3-venues of improvised goodness.
It started a couple of months ago when Lisa Ricketts cheekily suggested we make an application for the marathon.
Late in May we got the green light and bam, it was all happening. Flights booked, hotels booked, visas waivered, friends contacted and weather channels watched, I counted down the days til it was time to pack officially (as opposed to rehearsal packing) and get my butt to the airport.

I have been to the States before, and this trip could not have been more different. A decade ago I landed in New York and it was cold and big and scary. It was also bright and vibrant and fantastic. It was the first Tuesday in November 2000 - election day, that myself and a friend arrived - and when we left some four weeks later, there still was not a clear President. The 11th of September was just another day on the calendar then too, and $1AUD was worth 50c USD. We made a very lame attempt at travelling across the States, in fact only stopping in New York, Memphis, Chicago, LA, Las Vegas and Hawaii's big island. Just the tip really, of what there is to see. We got the gist though, of just how different countries could be - and of just how different cities could be. I remember leaving thinking how much I really wanted to come back as soon as I could.
This time round, it was just such a different experience. Age probably has a lot to do with it, but there is a lot to be said for having people to visit. Los Angeles was a brilliant time. I caught up with Steve Brandon. He is the first person I know to have won a Green Card and he is certainly putting it to brilliant use. Seeing LA through his eyes made it feel so much more familiar. Staying on his couch and not in a hotel too automatically makes things more chilled.
It's safe to say Steve knows how to host! He took me shopping, to a taping of a dating game show hosted by Jerry Springer, to great restaurants, to a VIP back lot tour of Paramount Studios, to UCB LA, he hosted a games night at his house as well so I got to meet his friends - and all this in the first 36 hours!
I headed to New York on the red eye the night after arriving in LA. This was an experience. It seems that this is how America does its business. People fly into LA first thing in the morning from NYC and catch the red eye back, probably going straight into the office. There were many suited up types, sleeping pills in hand and inflatable pillows at the ready. A LOT is riding on getting sleep on this flight and I gotta admit, I felt the pressure. The flight was an 11.59pm departure. 5.5hrs long. Landing in New York at 8.30am.
Firstly, I flew American Airlines. Big mistake. No pillows and no blankets. Also no service at all. Secondly, I had packed some over the counter "relaxation" pills thinking this would be all I need, but no dice. I took one. No reaction. I took the second and finally started feeling sleepy but then the cold dry air (and me sans blanket!) caught the back of my throat and I had a major coughing attack which woke me right back up again. I had a little "tired" sob in the toilet and then resolved myself to harden the f**k up and sleep! Somehow this pep talk worked but some 90mins later the cabin was being prepared for landing and I was disturbed from my relaxed state, resulting in an occasional cranky spell over the days that followed. They were short lived however, as adrenaline and good friends are the worlds best mood enhancers! (sleep be damned!)
The week that followed was a blur - a rush and yet a slow motion reveal of faces, smells, tastes and sounds. Shows and shows and shows followed by a few more shows. Meals eaten while standing in queues, beers served straight from the keg in college style fervour, polite interest being mistake for flirting, crowded streets, sweaty subways and so much laughter.
The Del Close Marathon and our show in it certainly deserve its very own post - so I will do that, but til then I will simply say it was a long way to come but well worth the journey.
Though the main reason for being away was of course the DCM12, you cannot be in New York and not be the tourist.
I had not seen my lovely Susie in a month and a highlight would definitely have to be going on the Sex and the City tour with her. It was several hours of viewing the city from a lovely air conditioned bus, stopping for Magnolia Cupcakes, Cosmos and many many photo opportunities. We also got lots of shopping time in and lots of running around with smiles on our faces.
I also had the joy of catching up with Matt and Kat Foster, more winners of the Green Card. And those two are also putting it into fabulous use. Matt is acting in a regional tour of My Fair Lady and Kat is working with a fertility clinic. I got to go out to Queens to see where they live - a mere 15mins from the centre of Manhattan by subway! Brilliant. I love that I can now visualise where they are (like I can with Steve in LA). It makes the world seem smaller somehow.
Spending time just wandering about rather than racing from one landmark to another was really great - I felt much more relaxed than I did 10 years ago. I still have so much more to see and so definitely plan to go back, but got much more of a feeling for the city than if I had just raced around ticking things of my list of "to see and do".
Because of the DCM12 we got to talk much more to locals (and so many visitors from other parts of the States) which makes a massive difference to a travelling experience as well. It just makes the places you visit seem so much more real. People are tops. No doubt about it. Well, apart from the one New Yorker (like the bad apple) who elbowed me in the boob and pushed me into the street. I was too happy to be on the receiving end of such a cliche though to be angry and probably looked like a right royal loon laughing instead of yelling. Oh well. No damage to my boob is the main thing.
I was ready to go back to LA though, the heat in NYC was intense, and had two brilliant days with Steve and Carly (another Aussie living there.) They treated me to more shopping destinations, more good food and a night at a bar called Howl at the Moon where once again I think my polite chit chat was mistaken for flirting! I even managed to get a quick sing song in with the "duelling piano" house band. It was a pretty brilliant way to round off the trip.
Just like that though, I am home. Straight back to work with not a lot to do but look at my photos and think about warmer weather (so I can wear all the clothes I brought home with me!).
Thankfully gigs have started to come in already. Friendly faces are around the corner and the arms of a handsome man whom I certainly am flirting with (make no mistake it is not polite chit chat) is only 11 sleeps away......

A happier post from me, Amanda Buckley.

A lot of my thoughts have probably been coming off a tad on the whingey whiney woe is me slant. So I have decided to shake that stuff off for a while, although it remains somewhere in the back of my already full of not-very-helpful-bits-and-bobs mind, and focus on some super happy good times! Yay!

So here is just a quick snapshot of totally lovely happy things that make me happy and I think are lovely!

• My Boyfriend. He is super handsome and funny and smart and talented. I am very lucky. Very very lucky and very very grateful.
• I saw Sir Ian McKellan and Roger Rees at the Opera House in Waiting for Godot. It was fantastic - funny, sad, moving, scary, ridiculous - everything it has never been in any of the previous versions I have seen. Other productions have had a few of these things - but the cast of this one captured it all. They performed with such joy and reckless abandon. It was a pricey ticket, but worth it. I am so glad I saw it and that I saw it with someone who probably enjoyed it even more than me was brilliant.
• My nephews! I have 3 and all of them are very gorgeous and smart. I went to Adelaide recently to visit 2 of them. I asked my eldest nephew Jackson, who is 5, to "tell me some exciting news!" and he said "ummm, I love you!" I, of course, burst into tears.
• I auditioned for Fame the Musical! It was my first official professional musical theatre audition and..... I survived it! Better than that, I reckon I did a job that was not too shabby. I am sure on the scale of things I was less than pitch perfect. I possibly made up a few of my own notes. I set my own pace and rhythm. Hell, I probably rewrote lyrics and invented my own time signature BUT I sang 2 songs and they did not stop me. I did not wee in my pants and I did not hyperventilate. I wanted to, oh how I wanted to, but I didn't. This all might sound like a terrible audition, but it wasn't. It was great. I was absolutely buzzing afterwards and though I know I was not their choice for the role of Mabel (the worlds fattest dancer) I reckon I couldn't have been happier. I was the happiest reject I think they have ever seen! I cannot wait for the next opportunity to be rejected!
• In a fortnight, I am headed OS to the US! Woohoo! I am part of a small troupe performing in the Del Close Marathon in New York. It's a festival of Improv and I cannot wait to jump on stage with my friends and let loose! Two of us were also randomly selected (names in a hat I reckon) to play in a "Gathering of the Tribes" mixer and I could not feel luckier. I also get the chance to catch up with some friends who have been living in the States AND I get to .... SHOP! Woohoo!

I am sure there is more I can add - like nailing the vegie and barley soup recipe I have been experimenting with ! - but this is pretty bloody good for starters.

Life's not bad at all Buckley, not bad at all.