I had mentioned in a previous post that I have begun to prematurely Nanna. By that, I mean, I have noticed some behavioural changes that lean toward the inner senior citizen in me. I have every confidence that my inner child still exists, I am just worried that the senior citizen (pushy as they can be) will start calling all the shots.
For instance, I am an early riser - not by nature, purely due to my job, however, I find it increasingly annoying to sleep in and "miss half the day" now. My body clock (after nearly 6 years of training) wakes me up, on weekends, even after a very late night, by 7am every day. Not a problem if you can merely roll over and go back to sleep - not me. I start to think about putting on some washing or going for a walk - mostly I just end up reading, but still, that's a Nanna thing.
I also think nothing of having dinner at 5.30pm. Again, this is mainly for convenience, as I would only do this if I had something else on that night and I would not get home till really late ... But still. Dinner with Deal or No Deal - that's a Nanna thing.
I would rather put on all of my clothes at once than put on a heater, I am scared of teenagers, I do not understand Emo, I have a freezer full of bananas just waiting to be made into bread - ALL NANNA THINGS and last night was the most Nanna of all. I found a Woody Allen movie a little too disturbing to watch just before bed. Make no mistake, I was enjoying it no end, its just as it neared midnight and the film neared its climax, I begun to get so anxious that I could not watch it anymore. I had to pour myself a glass of port, watch some mindless American "dramedy" and put myself to bed. This is a Nanna thing. Where has my spunk gone? My pluck? Apart from the obvious reasons, why do I find CSI so offensive? Its the Nanna in me.
And she's got me scared.
Must be time for another tattoo!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Easy Peasy
At exactly the time when I was ready to pull various strands of my hair out this morning through the many frustrations that come through not quite understanding how I am meant to do my job, I was quickly reminded just how easily distracted and made happy I can be....
These things made me smile today -
- placing a prank phone call
- finding a short film by a friend on YouTube
- having left over spaghetti for lunch
- someone saving me a piece of cake
- faking my laugh until I genuinely laughed to make someone else laugh
- the chicken dance (Arrested Development style)
- knowing that there are social drinks on Sunday
- schadenfraude
- a crazy accent
- thinking about the last month
- completely a difficult (for me) calculation
- working out the right way of doing something (after doing it wrong for weeks!)
And its only just time to leave work. Indeed, happy days!
These things made me smile today -
- placing a prank phone call
- finding a short film by a friend on YouTube
- having left over spaghetti for lunch
- someone saving me a piece of cake
- faking my laugh until I genuinely laughed to make someone else laugh
- the chicken dance (Arrested Development style)
- knowing that there are social drinks on Sunday
- schadenfraude
- a crazy accent
- thinking about the last month
- completely a difficult (for me) calculation
- working out the right way of doing something (after doing it wrong for weeks!)
And its only just time to leave work. Indeed, happy days!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Taxi Cab Confessions
This is what happened:
Dusk, King St Newtown, I had five minutes to get to the pub and meet Cale, the Canadian, Coaster, Friend for a beer before he went to class. My spirits were high and thirst ready for quenching as I hit the street. Damn. Uphill. Unfit. Best flag down a cab.
Moments later I am in the front seat, directing the driver to an ATM and the pub in question. He obliges, starting to chat. I am not sure what the segue could have possibly been - or the catalyst for his train of thought going to where it went - but indeed, I was not expecting the following dialogue. Oh no, I was not expecting it at all.
Its fairly obvious he really wanted to tell his story, he drove particularly slowly for the flow of traffic and he certainly was not in a hurry to move off the mark as the lights changed from red to green.
His wife left him five years ago and was currently "shacked up with a 32 year old." The ex was 54. Their daughter was living with his ex-wife and a strictly religious 28 year old so she was "saving herself for marriage" should not have to bear witness to such debauchery. This was tearing him apart, that and the fact that the ex-wife had taken him for everything he had, which he pointed out, was not much. He never used to drink, but since the 32 year old moved in, he has been known to drink a bottle of whiskey in one night and get up and go to work.(At this stage I was taking down the drivers licence number!) Then, and lets remember, at best this was a five to ten minute journey, he really opened up.
"I think I am ready to end it. I have a gun, I will shoot myself and be rid of this forever." I did not want to know, I did not want to care, I did not want to be involved. But I was. And I was paying him for the privilege.
"Anywhere along here thanks." I said, encouragingly. And then I added something along the lines of not killing himself because he needed to be there for his daughter and where would I be if he had not come along? - walking slowly uphill and not at all close to a pint of lager. OK, so maybe it was not the time or place for funny. I was not at all prepared for what had just taken place. Poor excuse I know, but there it is.
Moments later, beer in hand and friend sitting opposite, life had moved on....except that I really hoped that lonely man would be OK.
Now I sit at work, bullied by my co-workers for singing too loudly. "I wish they'd drag you back to re-hab" was one comment regarding a particular song I was singing. Maybe they just need five minutes with the man I met last night, him at the wheel and his life falling apart, to know that there are worse things in life than having to put up with my singing.....
Dusk, King St Newtown, I had five minutes to get to the pub and meet Cale, the Canadian, Coaster, Friend for a beer before he went to class. My spirits were high and thirst ready for quenching as I hit the street. Damn. Uphill. Unfit. Best flag down a cab.
Moments later I am in the front seat, directing the driver to an ATM and the pub in question. He obliges, starting to chat. I am not sure what the segue could have possibly been - or the catalyst for his train of thought going to where it went - but indeed, I was not expecting the following dialogue. Oh no, I was not expecting it at all.
Its fairly obvious he really wanted to tell his story, he drove particularly slowly for the flow of traffic and he certainly was not in a hurry to move off the mark as the lights changed from red to green.
His wife left him five years ago and was currently "shacked up with a 32 year old." The ex was 54. Their daughter was living with his ex-wife and a strictly religious 28 year old so she was "saving herself for marriage" should not have to bear witness to such debauchery. This was tearing him apart, that and the fact that the ex-wife had taken him for everything he had, which he pointed out, was not much. He never used to drink, but since the 32 year old moved in, he has been known to drink a bottle of whiskey in one night and get up and go to work.(At this stage I was taking down the drivers licence number!) Then, and lets remember, at best this was a five to ten minute journey, he really opened up.
"I think I am ready to end it. I have a gun, I will shoot myself and be rid of this forever." I did not want to know, I did not want to care, I did not want to be involved. But I was. And I was paying him for the privilege.
"Anywhere along here thanks." I said, encouragingly. And then I added something along the lines of not killing himself because he needed to be there for his daughter and where would I be if he had not come along? - walking slowly uphill and not at all close to a pint of lager. OK, so maybe it was not the time or place for funny. I was not at all prepared for what had just taken place. Poor excuse I know, but there it is.
Moments later, beer in hand and friend sitting opposite, life had moved on....except that I really hoped that lonely man would be OK.
Now I sit at work, bullied by my co-workers for singing too loudly. "I wish they'd drag you back to re-hab" was one comment regarding a particular song I was singing. Maybe they just need five minutes with the man I met last night, him at the wheel and his life falling apart, to know that there are worse things in life than having to put up with my singing.....
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
And now -
The sickness comes. Yes, I have finally succumbed to the land of cold and flu. Still, its worth the snot really.
And here is a photo of the Scrabble Unscripted cast with Dave Callan and our best "zombie" faces...not sure what I am thinking...
And here is a photo of the Scrabble Unscripted cast with Dave Callan and our best "zombie" faces...not sure what I am thinking...
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
If I could then I would, but I can't so I won't....
I am referring to posting a blog about the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Its just impossible to put into words the experience of April 2007...as Jordan Raskopolous pointed out "Words have not failed you Amanda Buckley, no, YOU have failed words."
That is to say, I have tried and failed and what is left is a mere rundown on the events of last month.
Firstly, our show Scrabble Unscripted went better than we could have imagined and I guess, I mean, at the end of the day, thats what we were there for - to put on a kick arse comedy show. What happened though, I found, is that everything else about the festival seemed to overtake the original goal. Pre-sales, flyering, warm-ups and set-ups are your routine, but the networking, the dancing, the drinking, the venue hopping, the hanging around, the flirting, the late night (read: early morning) debriefs to the who's and the what's all become the things you dig even deeper into the well of energy to take part in.
Its safe to say that I have never been one for the sleeping and have on more than a dozen occasions sacrificed my general well-being to stay out that little bit longer, to suck on the marrow (if you will). I now have a sleep debt, that one day, not only my children, but my childrens children shall inherit. At least I have something to leave behind....
Two of the most amazing highlights (she says, almost forgetting, once again, the reason she was there) apart from the success of Scrabble (she says, making amends) was singing "Flashdance" with 80's Enuff at Trades Hall, a truly joyous and unforgettable moment in my life, thanks of course to Suz and Lis for the hair and the moves and Mark Watsons 24 hr Gig. This is where words really fail me (sorry, where I really fail words) to summate as best possible, Mark Watson put on a 24 hr gig, successfully, much to the dismay of his emotional and mental and possibly physical state. At some stage I was laughing uncontrollably which somehow resulted in me going on a 9hr date with a 19 year old guy named Jono to the Yarra Valley, culminating in a ride with him on the ferris wheel in Federation Square. Of course, this was only about a 1/15 of the gigs focus, there was a hundred other things happening during the course of that 24 hours, but it was such a fabulous thing to be a part of that it would be remiss of me not to make quite the point of it.
The remaining parts of the month are many and wondrous and a blur of memories - gin, cigarettes, laughter, hugs, kisses, long gazes, car trips, music, crazy accents, long walks, glorious Autumn in Fitzroy Gardens, laneways, cups of coffee, soy milk, sushi, custard, smiles, questions and answers, welcoming strangers and steadfast friends. And sideburns. And an airport moment I will never forget. Sigh. Sniff. Sob.
That is to say, I have tried and failed and what is left is a mere rundown on the events of last month.
Firstly, our show Scrabble Unscripted went better than we could have imagined and I guess, I mean, at the end of the day, thats what we were there for - to put on a kick arse comedy show. What happened though, I found, is that everything else about the festival seemed to overtake the original goal. Pre-sales, flyering, warm-ups and set-ups are your routine, but the networking, the dancing, the drinking, the venue hopping, the hanging around, the flirting, the late night (read: early morning) debriefs to the who's and the what's all become the things you dig even deeper into the well of energy to take part in.
Its safe to say that I have never been one for the sleeping and have on more than a dozen occasions sacrificed my general well-being to stay out that little bit longer, to suck on the marrow (if you will). I now have a sleep debt, that one day, not only my children, but my childrens children shall inherit. At least I have something to leave behind....
Two of the most amazing highlights (she says, almost forgetting, once again, the reason she was there) apart from the success of Scrabble (she says, making amends) was singing "Flashdance" with 80's Enuff at Trades Hall, a truly joyous and unforgettable moment in my life, thanks of course to Suz and Lis for the hair and the moves and Mark Watsons 24 hr Gig. This is where words really fail me (sorry, where I really fail words) to summate as best possible, Mark Watson put on a 24 hr gig, successfully, much to the dismay of his emotional and mental and possibly physical state. At some stage I was laughing uncontrollably which somehow resulted in me going on a 9hr date with a 19 year old guy named Jono to the Yarra Valley, culminating in a ride with him on the ferris wheel in Federation Square. Of course, this was only about a 1/15 of the gigs focus, there was a hundred other things happening during the course of that 24 hours, but it was such a fabulous thing to be a part of that it would be remiss of me not to make quite the point of it.
The remaining parts of the month are many and wondrous and a blur of memories - gin, cigarettes, laughter, hugs, kisses, long gazes, car trips, music, crazy accents, long walks, glorious Autumn in Fitzroy Gardens, laneways, cups of coffee, soy milk, sushi, custard, smiles, questions and answers, welcoming strangers and steadfast friends. And sideburns. And an airport moment I will never forget. Sigh. Sniff. Sob.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Eureka!
So, we are two weeks down and two to go for the Comedy Festival.
So far, in my constant attempts to learn and grow as a person, I have discovered the following -
* The natural high of a sell out show can help you stay awake for days
* There is never a right time to approach Dylan Moran - and if there ever was, all you would be able to manage to say is "blabagh".
* Rove McManus is lovely and drinks vodka.
* Nobody, but nobody dances like Dave Callan - well except perhaps Lisa Ricketts
* A four star rating from The Age also gives a natural high that can keep you awake for hours - and is also another reason to drink a lot.
* Trams are good
* You can still have fun on Good Friday. Yes yes you can.
* There are still good men out there. At least one. Probably even two or three, just keep your eyes open.
Scrabble Unscripted has been going great and we have had nothing but warm fuzzy feelings for this fine city....good times indeed.
My only complaint is that the stupid grin I have been sporting has seen an increase to the lines on my face.
Ahhh, but the joy in a stupid grin....what a way to wrinkle.
So far, in my constant attempts to learn and grow as a person, I have discovered the following -
* The natural high of a sell out show can help you stay awake for days
* There is never a right time to approach Dylan Moran - and if there ever was, all you would be able to manage to say is "blabagh".
* Rove McManus is lovely and drinks vodka.
* Nobody, but nobody dances like Dave Callan - well except perhaps Lisa Ricketts
* A four star rating from The Age also gives a natural high that can keep you awake for hours - and is also another reason to drink a lot.
* Trams are good
* You can still have fun on Good Friday. Yes yes you can.
* There are still good men out there. At least one. Probably even two or three, just keep your eyes open.
Scrabble Unscripted has been going great and we have had nothing but warm fuzzy feelings for this fine city....good times indeed.
My only complaint is that the stupid grin I have been sporting has seen an increase to the lines on my face.
Ahhh, but the joy in a stupid grin....what a way to wrinkle.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Like butterflies in your belly
Anxiety.
I love it. The good kind anyway. Although, I suffer a lot from the bad kind, thankfully only over trivial things like velvet and having the guy next to me watch me eat. And walking up and down stairs - I fall over alot, so you know, every stairwell is a crazy adventure for me. Yesterday, I trip up the stairs in a carpark, but this made me lose my balance and fall back down the stairs....oh to be the guy who watches the CCTV footage and has seen Ms AB stumble with the grace and composure of something with very little grace and composure.
Lately though, (apart from the velvet) its all been very good anxitey. Pre-show nerves, new people syndrome (I get very nervous around groups of people and when I am meeting new people....in a good way), thinking about a possible next kiss, leaving my job for a month to perform at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, leaving it all behind for a month come August 17 to head OS again. Crazy butterflies I tells ya!
Bliss.
I love it. The good kind anyway. Although, I suffer a lot from the bad kind, thankfully only over trivial things like velvet and having the guy next to me watch me eat. And walking up and down stairs - I fall over alot, so you know, every stairwell is a crazy adventure for me. Yesterday, I trip up the stairs in a carpark, but this made me lose my balance and fall back down the stairs....oh to be the guy who watches the CCTV footage and has seen Ms AB stumble with the grace and composure of something with very little grace and composure.
Lately though, (apart from the velvet) its all been very good anxitey. Pre-show nerves, new people syndrome (I get very nervous around groups of people and when I am meeting new people....in a good way), thinking about a possible next kiss, leaving my job for a month to perform at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, leaving it all behind for a month come August 17 to head OS again. Crazy butterflies I tells ya!
Bliss.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Do Gooder
On my drive from work today, I passed a man sat in a van vigorously rubbing his eyes. Of course, I had driven on way too far when I thought to myself, "I hope he was alright". I mean, for all I know, he was an emotional wreck and had pulled over to the side of the road to let out all his anguish and woe and the kindness of a passerby may just be the only thing that could bring sunshine into his day....or he might have just been tired.
All this went through my head and I realised that well, I had missed my chance to find out.
Of course, I could have turned back at any time, though I did do this once, and my do-gooding ways got me into a spot of bother.
A few years ago (about 10) I was driving at dusk and saw a heap of smoke coming from a house. I called Emergency right away feeling very proud of myself for raising the alarm.
As I continued on my way (I was on my way to a class) I noticed several other houses with smoke billowing out of their roofs...hmmmm, coincidence? I think not. It was winter after all and something I had failed to notice when I raised said alarm, was the chimney from which all the smoke was coming out of.
I immediately rang Emergency again and informed them of my mistake, alas, it was too late and the protocol is for all calls to be investigated. I sped away as fast as was legal as I saw the three fire engines approach.....what a dickhead was I. All I could think of was the chance that there may have been a legitimate fire somewhere else, and thanks to my so-called do-gooding, people had perished.
None had.
I checked the papers ....
But still.
So I hope Mr Man from the van that you were merely stop, reviving, surviving... and if you weren't, I am sorry for not stopping.
I will try and make it up somehow.
All this went through my head and I realised that well, I had missed my chance to find out.
Of course, I could have turned back at any time, though I did do this once, and my do-gooding ways got me into a spot of bother.
A few years ago (about 10) I was driving at dusk and saw a heap of smoke coming from a house. I called Emergency right away feeling very proud of myself for raising the alarm.
As I continued on my way (I was on my way to a class) I noticed several other houses with smoke billowing out of their roofs...hmmmm, coincidence? I think not. It was winter after all and something I had failed to notice when I raised said alarm, was the chimney from which all the smoke was coming out of.
I immediately rang Emergency again and informed them of my mistake, alas, it was too late and the protocol is for all calls to be investigated. I sped away as fast as was legal as I saw the three fire engines approach.....what a dickhead was I. All I could think of was the chance that there may have been a legitimate fire somewhere else, and thanks to my so-called do-gooding, people had perished.
None had.
I checked the papers ....
But still.
So I hope Mr Man from the van that you were merely stop, reviving, surviving... and if you weren't, I am sorry for not stopping.
I will try and make it up somehow.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
All hail the Chiefs
I went to the Kaiser Chiefs gig last night at the Forum @ Fox Studios. Its a great venue, intimate, sweaty, loud.
Although, they are also the things I can no longer tolerate about live music. Well, lets say I cannot tolerate them like I used to.
Last year, Daniel Kitson made some very strong comments regarding gigs and the things he cannot tolerate about them. I could not have agreed more vehemently with him last night.
The Chiefs play loud, sweaty music. Inciting the masses and making you punch your hands in the air. For those that know me, I am not a joiner-inner of things like that, but I do enjoy other peoples carefree jumping up and downs. That is of course, unless the person whose sweaty back my cheek is uncomfortably pressing against is a certain breed of backpacker, who keeps mistaking me for his girlfriend (who he never bothered to completely locate and keep safe from the moshings of the mosh) and would repeatedly scream into my ear "NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAAAA I love this one!!!!"
It was an almost violent joy on display. His poor girlfriend had no idea what was going on and all I could think of was Daniel Kitson. When you really like something, you want the other people that really like it to be like you.....and when it turns out that you have something in common with someone you would choose to stay far far away from normally, well, it sours the subject somewhat. (He says it SO much better and funnier, and uses WAY more rude words.)
Thankfully, I also shared the experience with my friend Heather. I would recommend Heather as one of my favourite gig companions.
So now, almost 24 hours later and the dull ring in my ear still present, I ask myself, what will I expect at the Electric Picnic later this year....I cannot wait to find out!
Although, they are also the things I can no longer tolerate about live music. Well, lets say I cannot tolerate them like I used to.
Last year, Daniel Kitson made some very strong comments regarding gigs and the things he cannot tolerate about them. I could not have agreed more vehemently with him last night.
The Chiefs play loud, sweaty music. Inciting the masses and making you punch your hands in the air. For those that know me, I am not a joiner-inner of things like that, but I do enjoy other peoples carefree jumping up and downs. That is of course, unless the person whose sweaty back my cheek is uncomfortably pressing against is a certain breed of backpacker, who keeps mistaking me for his girlfriend (who he never bothered to completely locate and keep safe from the moshings of the mosh) and would repeatedly scream into my ear "NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAAAA I love this one!!!!"
It was an almost violent joy on display. His poor girlfriend had no idea what was going on and all I could think of was Daniel Kitson. When you really like something, you want the other people that really like it to be like you.....and when it turns out that you have something in common with someone you would choose to stay far far away from normally, well, it sours the subject somewhat. (He says it SO much better and funnier, and uses WAY more rude words.)
Thankfully, I also shared the experience with my friend Heather. I would recommend Heather as one of my favourite gig companions.
So now, almost 24 hours later and the dull ring in my ear still present, I ask myself, what will I expect at the Electric Picnic later this year....I cannot wait to find out!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Dissolute and Mopey!
I received an email today from Australias No 1 Scrabble Champion, citing concerns over my blogs content, describing it as being dissolute and mopey.
To his credit he wished the universe be good to me so that I may have positive things to enthuse about....so, Edward, at the risk of seeming without morals or even wanton, I have decided to list the things that have made me happy and or enthusiastic this week.
*Being kissed on the nose by my nephews.
*Autumn and the approach of porridge season.
*The Beatles and the endless debates/discussions I can have with people about them. I love that most people will have an opinion. I LOVE when people have a strong opinion.
*Sending and receiving flirtatious text messages whilst sitting opposite my parents.
*Walking into my office and having people say "Here she is!"
*Touching Dieter Brummers six pack! (he works out)
*All my friends who helped me get over my sore neck....and helping to crack my back!
*Being a part of 5 great impro shows.
*Having a night off and spending it on the phone.
*Pfeffernuse. So fun to say and yummy to eat.
*My job and the fact that I don't know what I am doing and it gets a little harder everyday.....Learning is fun.
*The phrase "24 points of love". (Scrabble reference - thank you Ed).
*Serenading a woman at work who is getting married with "Enter Sandman".
*Susie Youssef and her endless ideas for shows and cabaret material.
*Running in a sun shower - bliss!
*When I mentioned to my manager that I had (well my blog had) been described as mopey, he made that raspberry noise and said "As if!"
It ain't much, but its a start surely.
Take that Edward.
To his credit he wished the universe be good to me so that I may have positive things to enthuse about....so, Edward, at the risk of seeming without morals or even wanton, I have decided to list the things that have made me happy and or enthusiastic this week.
*Being kissed on the nose by my nephews.
*Autumn and the approach of porridge season.
*The Beatles and the endless debates/discussions I can have with people about them. I love that most people will have an opinion. I LOVE when people have a strong opinion.
*Sending and receiving flirtatious text messages whilst sitting opposite my parents.
*Walking into my office and having people say "Here she is!"
*Touching Dieter Brummers six pack! (he works out)
*All my friends who helped me get over my sore neck....and helping to crack my back!
*Being a part of 5 great impro shows.
*Having a night off and spending it on the phone.
*Pfeffernuse. So fun to say and yummy to eat.
*My job and the fact that I don't know what I am doing and it gets a little harder everyday.....Learning is fun.
*The phrase "24 points of love". (Scrabble reference - thank you Ed).
*Serenading a woman at work who is getting married with "Enter Sandman".
*Susie Youssef and her endless ideas for shows and cabaret material.
*Running in a sun shower - bliss!
*When I mentioned to my manager that I had (well my blog had) been described as mopey, he made that raspberry noise and said "As if!"
It ain't much, but its a start surely.
Take that Edward.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Aye, there's the rub
This is what we have established:
I am tired.
I need more sleep.
Sleep will make me feel better.
Working in front of a computer all day is hurting my neck. (something to do with the amount of time I may or may not spend with the phone cradled between my ear and shoulder perhaps?)
Performing makes me a little anxious and possibly tense.
Velvet scares me and makes me uncomfortable.
Certain venues (ie. our current venue) have walls made entirely of velvet and most theatre curtains are velvet.
I get tense around velvet.
When I am tense my neck hurts more.
I sleep funny when I am tense.
When I sleep funny I wake up with a sore neck.
I cannot sleep when I have a sore neck.
When I cannot sleep I get tired.
I am tired.
Oh, a vicious cycle indeed.
So why am I still smiling? Lets just say that Rocky Raccoon's apparent lack of narrative and resolution is enough to lift my mood.
I am tired.
I need more sleep.
Sleep will make me feel better.
Working in front of a computer all day is hurting my neck. (something to do with the amount of time I may or may not spend with the phone cradled between my ear and shoulder perhaps?)
Performing makes me a little anxious and possibly tense.
Velvet scares me and makes me uncomfortable.
Certain venues (ie. our current venue) have walls made entirely of velvet and most theatre curtains are velvet.
I get tense around velvet.
When I am tense my neck hurts more.
I sleep funny when I am tense.
When I sleep funny I wake up with a sore neck.
I cannot sleep when I have a sore neck.
When I cannot sleep I get tired.
I am tired.
Oh, a vicious cycle indeed.
So why am I still smiling? Lets just say that Rocky Raccoon's apparent lack of narrative and resolution is enough to lift my mood.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The Sleep Debt and The Goofy Smile
I am about as sleepy as I have ever been. My personal mantra of "sleep is for the weak" has become a tad too much of a mission statement and people are no longer suprised when I tell them my age. ("Really? Only 31? Wow.)
Yet, for all the sleeplessness and yawning, its never felt so lovely to be tired. Every yawn is a reminder that I have been off doing something wonderful. First it was a play run with a cast of friends and a ridiculous Italian accent, then it was farewell parties and gala nights, then my friend Caomhan.
When Caomhan is in town, life takes on a whole new attitude. We do not even have to be hanging out with each other for me to feel happy, just knowing he is in the same city brings a smile to my face. There is the obligatory amount of alcohol though, late night chats and all day celebrating (where wine and oysters are breakfast and gin is all the other meals!) ending with a bop in the local discotheque with me barefoot sending text messages under a piano. Sydney lights up when he is around!
The last month is indeed a blur. Follow Caomhans visit with Comedy Festivals, impro show after impro show, parties celebrating the success of an impro show and chatting with a handsome man till sunrise, not to mention a day job that I keep waking up for and am actually taking pride in, well, my sleep debt just keeps getting bigger.
And my goofy grin just keeps getting bigger too.
Yet, for all the sleeplessness and yawning, its never felt so lovely to be tired. Every yawn is a reminder that I have been off doing something wonderful. First it was a play run with a cast of friends and a ridiculous Italian accent, then it was farewell parties and gala nights, then my friend Caomhan.
When Caomhan is in town, life takes on a whole new attitude. We do not even have to be hanging out with each other for me to feel happy, just knowing he is in the same city brings a smile to my face. There is the obligatory amount of alcohol though, late night chats and all day celebrating (where wine and oysters are breakfast and gin is all the other meals!) ending with a bop in the local discotheque with me barefoot sending text messages under a piano. Sydney lights up when he is around!
The last month is indeed a blur. Follow Caomhans visit with Comedy Festivals, impro show after impro show, parties celebrating the success of an impro show and chatting with a handsome man till sunrise, not to mention a day job that I keep waking up for and am actually taking pride in, well, my sleep debt just keeps getting bigger.
And my goofy grin just keeps getting bigger too.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Always a bridesmaid
In another world or time, I would be born a male, a shortish pug-ish man with a Frenchy sounding name. I would create an award winning cult comedy series set in an office and then go on to create and star in a series about being an extra. An extra that has a ridiculous agent.
Alas, I was born a female. A shortish pug-ish female. Who works in a office and has a secret life as a comedy performer/actor and a ridiculous agent. Pity Ricky is just that much more talented than me. And has a penis. I am sure thats the only difference.
The call went like this:
"OK, I have an audition for you. I am not sure what its for. I forgot to write down the name of the company. Anyway, its tomorrow. The role of a bridesmaid. Oh, you're still overweight aren't you? Because its for a fat bridesmaid."
My confidence is sky-high. Self esteem through the roof.
I go for the audition. I am in a room with four other females of various size, shapes and colours. Its clear they are going for the "real people" look.
They ask us to improvise a scene in a womens rest room where we are all gossiping about the wedding we are in attedance of. This should be a piece of cake. Except its an audition and the rules of performance have gone out the window. We have two minutes to try to stay afloat as a crazy woman steamrolls the scene with a tyrant about an illicit affair with the groom and how she is going to ruin the honeymoon. Its all I can do not to abandon the scene, but then I definitely will not be in the running for role of toilet extra.
All this to sell a phone.
"Yep, still a fatty".
Alas, I was born a female. A shortish pug-ish female. Who works in a office and has a secret life as a comedy performer/actor and a ridiculous agent. Pity Ricky is just that much more talented than me. And has a penis. I am sure thats the only difference.
The call went like this:
"OK, I have an audition for you. I am not sure what its for. I forgot to write down the name of the company. Anyway, its tomorrow. The role of a bridesmaid. Oh, you're still overweight aren't you? Because its for a fat bridesmaid."
My confidence is sky-high. Self esteem through the roof.
I go for the audition. I am in a room with four other females of various size, shapes and colours. Its clear they are going for the "real people" look.
They ask us to improvise a scene in a womens rest room where we are all gossiping about the wedding we are in attedance of. This should be a piece of cake. Except its an audition and the rules of performance have gone out the window. We have two minutes to try to stay afloat as a crazy woman steamrolls the scene with a tyrant about an illicit affair with the groom and how she is going to ruin the honeymoon. Its all I can do not to abandon the scene, but then I definitely will not be in the running for role of toilet extra.
All this to sell a phone.
"Yep, still a fatty".
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
A pause, a reflection, a thought - or two
I'll start with negative -
1) Men who make me feel bad. Why do I let them? And WHY am I attracted to them? And did he just call me a slag?
2) Text messaging rules I cannot get the hang of ie. the ol triple text sans reply. Thats just asking for trouble.
3) Too many dinners consisting of toast.
4) Spilling a last glass of red wine after the bottle shop closes can result in tears.
5) Sleeping wrong so your neck hurts - for 3 days.
6) Forgetting to set the VCR and missing the ever important first episodes. Damn.
7) Having to sit in an office where you are forced to listen to Kyle and Jackie O talk to Mercedes Corby. That is an hour of my life I will never be able to get back.
8) Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado will induce nausea.
I'll finish with positive -
1) Booking flights to Melbourne for the comedy festival.
2) Booking flights to London (countdown to August begins)
3) International guests arriving in a week
4) Security Guards in pubs that announce "no more comedy" when I throw a tantrum (in the name of comedy). Either he was very very good at his job or incredibly funny himself - his facial hair suggests the former.
5) Being part of a cast again.
6) Amazon.co.uk - thank you for entertaining me.
7) Having a work colleague create an IMDB profile for me.
8) Hearing Talk Talk on the radio bringing up memories of the international guest who is coming in a week....so good.
1) Men who make me feel bad. Why do I let them? And WHY am I attracted to them? And did he just call me a slag?
2) Text messaging rules I cannot get the hang of ie. the ol triple text sans reply. Thats just asking for trouble.
3) Too many dinners consisting of toast.
4) Spilling a last glass of red wine after the bottle shop closes can result in tears.
5) Sleeping wrong so your neck hurts - for 3 days.
6) Forgetting to set the VCR and missing the ever important first episodes. Damn.
7) Having to sit in an office where you are forced to listen to Kyle and Jackie O talk to Mercedes Corby. That is an hour of my life I will never be able to get back.
8) Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado will induce nausea.
I'll finish with positive -
1) Booking flights to Melbourne for the comedy festival.
2) Booking flights to London (countdown to August begins)
3) International guests arriving in a week
4) Security Guards in pubs that announce "no more comedy" when I throw a tantrum (in the name of comedy). Either he was very very good at his job or incredibly funny himself - his facial hair suggests the former.
5) Being part of a cast again.
6) Amazon.co.uk - thank you for entertaining me.
7) Having a work colleague create an IMDB profile for me.
8) Hearing Talk Talk on the radio bringing up memories of the international guest who is coming in a week....so good.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Whatever happened to Greg?
Is it just me....or does Lou Reed have a remarkable resemblance to Barry Williams A.K.A Greg Brady?
And is it just me or have you never seen them in the same room before?
And is it just me or do you remember that Greg had a rock'n'roll dream and went by the stage name of Johnny Bravo once or twice?
And is it just me or when you put the names Lou Reed and Johnny Bravo into google, you actually get some results...I mean....is it just me or is that way too much of a coincidence?
Friday, January 12, 2007
I know you are but what am I?
I have been out of sorts this week. Not ill. Not upset. Not the same. Out of sorts. I love expressions like that. Ones that mean exactly what you want to express. I am out of sorts.
My road rage is up higher than usual, I have had 2.5 headaches and I feel a little whingey. I actually found myself shedding a tear over the "Home and Away" trailer - looking back at Sally's life and the big question of "will she survive?" AND I DON"T EVEN WATCH IT!!!!! Random phone calls, left messages, texts not replied to - these have left me in a muddle, too many choices and lack of IT expertise have meant I still have not purchased a computer and my inability to produce an authentically stereotypical Italian accent have made way for one or two anxiety episodes. Oh it may sound trivial to you dear reader, but this is my life dammit!
On the flip to that however, our return (by "our" I am referring to the cast of Scrabble Unscripted) to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival has been confirmed and accommodation even booked! Brilliant. Now I just need to break the news to my employers.
I am reaching that fork in the road, where I know the job may have to go. (Not before I have purchased a damn laptop though!) I think I am being looked over for things because I have to work....and being out of the loop is both frustrating and destructive....because when you are out of the loop, you start thinking about all the things you are missing, but really, its only your imagination, because of course, since you are out of the loop, you have no real idea of whats happening in the loop - and more than likely, what you have imagined is going to be so much more dramatic than the truth....but you will never know, because you are out of the loop....
And out of sorts.
My road rage is up higher than usual, I have had 2.5 headaches and I feel a little whingey. I actually found myself shedding a tear over the "Home and Away" trailer - looking back at Sally's life and the big question of "will she survive?" AND I DON"T EVEN WATCH IT!!!!! Random phone calls, left messages, texts not replied to - these have left me in a muddle, too many choices and lack of IT expertise have meant I still have not purchased a computer and my inability to produce an authentically stereotypical Italian accent have made way for one or two anxiety episodes. Oh it may sound trivial to you dear reader, but this is my life dammit!
On the flip to that however, our return (by "our" I am referring to the cast of Scrabble Unscripted) to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival has been confirmed and accommodation even booked! Brilliant. Now I just need to break the news to my employers.
I am reaching that fork in the road, where I know the job may have to go. (Not before I have purchased a damn laptop though!) I think I am being looked over for things because I have to work....and being out of the loop is both frustrating and destructive....because when you are out of the loop, you start thinking about all the things you are missing, but really, its only your imagination, because of course, since you are out of the loop, you have no real idea of whats happening in the loop - and more than likely, what you have imagined is going to be so much more dramatic than the truth....but you will never know, because you are out of the loop....
And out of sorts.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Praise be!
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov 23 - Dec 21)
'Put on a happy face.' 'Smile though your heart is breaking.' 'Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag and smile, smile, smile.' The songwriters are unanimous. The thing to do when you find yourself in times of trouble is to let it be. To some extent this puts them in direct conflict with the psychotherapists who are strongly of the opinion that emotions must be honestly expressed at all times. Whose advice should you take? It doesn't much matter. Soon your problem will be fixed!
And I thought I was going to have to change the landing lightbulb myself!
(Nov 23 - Dec 21)
'Put on a happy face.' 'Smile though your heart is breaking.' 'Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag and smile, smile, smile.' The songwriters are unanimous. The thing to do when you find yourself in times of trouble is to let it be. To some extent this puts them in direct conflict with the psychotherapists who are strongly of the opinion that emotions must be honestly expressed at all times. Whose advice should you take? It doesn't much matter. Soon your problem will be fixed!
And I thought I was going to have to change the landing lightbulb myself!
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