My Salad Days - where did they go?

There was a time, many, many years ago (30th October 2000 to be precise) when I could happily fall down two flights of stairs in an Edinburgh bar and break my ribs on the second weekend of a two month holiday and not blink an eye.
In fact, history would show that the very next night I would slip on the cobbled Royal Mile pretending to be an Olympic Gymnast (this was 2000 after all) and land uncomfortably on my back. Did it stop me from six more weeks of crazy fun? No freakin way dude.

Funny now, eight years later, I should be doubled over and hobbling after, wait for it, not falling down flights of stairs, but, and this is pathetic I know, dancing. Yes, I have jarred my back or at the very least pinched a nerve, dancing. Sure it was rock opera style and I was doing a scissor kick (well, my version of a scissor kick) across the Enmore Theatre stage at the time, but really? Dancing? Come on!!!

I have previously held the title of "Miss Skullarama 1996 - 98" and now, three glasses of Bubbles and I wake up with a headache. I never used to get sick. Like ever. Then, bang, this year I have chest pains, back pains, suspicious lumps and pink eye. What the? And these things are less and less glamorous every dose. The lump was diagnosed as a fat deposit (relieving that its not serious but hardly one for the self esteem files) and the pink eye, well, its only slightly less embarrassing than saying conjunctivitis. Thank goodness I got to see the sexy Doctor to be diagnosed with that one.

Against my better judgement (and youthful appearance) I am getting old. This is completely unfair as my hair has never looked better and I have only just started to enjoy not having to run everything past my parents. (Hey Dad, you know your tax return? Well could you do mine while you're at it?)

Still, there are advantages. 40th birthday parties are fun to plan. Especially when they involve your Irish best friend, an international destination and three years to save for it.

And I do still hold on to some of my youth - there are two and a half weeks until I hit the Northern Hemisphere and rock out at the Electric Picnic. Brilliant. Gosh how I love a countdown.