It was indeed an elaborate plan. But it would make us millions.
Easy enough for me though, all I had to do was wait in the underground tube station, pick up the bag when it was dropped and then put the bag on the train. That was it. Simple.
Something was wrong though. The bag had not been dropped off to me yet and the train was due within the minute. I was doing all I could to remain calm but my wig was really hot and my new heels were really uncomfortable.
The train came and went, no bag. I could feel the sweat start to run down my neck - this wig was really really hot. And then I saw them. Police.
Ok Amanda, just stay calm and blend in. They don't know its you. Or did they? It was as if I had some sort of beacon that lead them to me. Bloody heels. I couldn't run. Maybe I shouldn't have hired the Marilyn Monroe costume. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not exactly a nightmare, but I woke with a shock. It was 4:48am. After the usual calming oneself down post weird dream I started drifting back to sleep. That is until the sickening crash against my window.
Not at all groggy after that - I sat up wide awake staring at my window. Then it happened again. A stupid freaky bird was battering itself against my bedroom window. Like 6 times. It was 5:02am!!!! What is a bird doing up and at 'em at that time? The sun was not up yet!
Then of course, the bird probably concussed, fluttered about on the ledge, ensuring my rise and shininess and then, just as I had raised the courage to try and assist it, off it flew.
I have had better Mondays. Still though, I can confirm, I look pretty hot in a Marilyn wig.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Back by popular demand!
Ok, so I am exaggerating when I say popular demand. One lovely person asked me to "hurry up and bloody update your blog!" and so, I am doing just that!
Its been a while and a lot has happened but I can probably only remember one or two things.
Firstly, I had a whirlwind trip across the world and back again. It started well - as in, everything was great until I tried to actually leave the country. My flight, due to a typhoon, was delayed by 9 hours, which meant, I had no chance of getting my connection from London to Amsterdam. I was impressively calm (crying for only about 15 minutes to my Mum) and organised a hotel and a new flight once I hit London. All this for only the extra cost of the hotel which was a crazy cheap $90. For London - crazy cheap.
By the time I finally arrived I had the face of a severe bee sting victim and was pretty much dazed and confused until I was met (after 38hrs travelling in total) by my wonderful friends in Amsterdam.
I had 4 days there and can I just say, if you have never been to Amsterdam, please find a reason to go there. Its a truly lovely city with more than just drugs and a red light district (though they are a pretty interesting draw card!) and just knowing that the lovely Damien lives there is enough to make this place a very special one. Damien, as ever, was the most gracious of hosts, even entertaining my need to hunt down a little comic book shop nestled in one of the residential areas. This was my celebrity sighting for the trip. I normally have one every overseas adventure. Last year it was Sam Shepherd, Liam Gallagher, Rhea Pearlman and Julie Delpy. This year, disguised with weightloss and a funky pair of glasses it was Seth Rogen. Or Rogan. Or Brogan. Anyway, you know that guy from Knocked Up? Him. Alas, due to my not really knowing his name, I chose not to say hello and instead walked out of the store saying "You know, Knocked Up? That guy. The chubby one, but he's not chubby now. Him. You know him. Come On!!!!"
After a wonderful few days I left Amsterdam to hit the ground running in dear old Dublin. And then it was 8 days of camping, rock festivalling, pinting, laughing, crying, eating, drinking and reminiscing. All the familiar faces, streets, sights.... one day of sunshine - which I managed a touch of sunburn from! - and not nearly long enough. The Electric Picnic was as ever, brilliant. Sinead O'Connor. Franz Ferdinand. The Presets. Grace Jones. Gomez. Duffy. And like a heap more that I cannot remember. There were a few hiccups though - no. 1 being toilets and the lack of them. And the lack of them being emptied. Yep. 3 days of overflowing portaloos.... sorry, but its true. This indeed dampened the spirits of (mainly female) picnickers, but somehow we carried on regardless and managed to keep smiling and dancing even when stuck in a muddy paddock for 1hr trying to leave. Ahh Ireland.
Leaving much too soon and yet feeling like I had been travelling for months, I was then back to London for some West End action, a drunken pub crawl with two British comedians, a boozy lunch at Harvey Nichols and a lot of melancholic sighing as I wished I could stay another few days.
Before I could say "where do I collect my duty free" I was back in my apartment and stuck with some jetlag and the face slap that is my real life.
To avoid post-travel blues there is only one sure fire way - keep travelling. Since I have gotten back I have had 2 trips to Melbourne and 2 trips to Adelaide. I have had nephews being Christened and nephews turning 1 and fly by gigs and joyous reunions with dearly missed loved ones.
And I had Beaconsfield the Musical. I spent one brilliant week in Melbourne for the Fringe Festival performing in Beaconsfield the Musical. It was a somewhat controversial show and managed to make headlines across Australia including a headlining possie on A Current Affair. So in a week where we were under media scrutiny and having only had 5 rehearsals, we opened and did a 5 night run to sell out audiences (ok, so the theatre only held about 30 - still, it sold out!) and rave reviews. I was so proud to be a part of it and it looks like we are going to hit the road and so some shows in Sydney, Adelaide and Melbourne in 2009! Very exciting.
Oh and I purchased a new washing machine. A brand new one. How very adult of me!
So that has been the last 2 months of my life. Very exciting. I am now possibly about to stare down the barrell of dispair as my tax bill is about to arrive and I have the rest of the year to think about how much I want to resign from my job and escape any ruts that see fit to place themselves in front of me. We'll see.
I have another trip to Melbourne in just over a week. That may stave it off a little longer. Gosh but how I love that city .... you know, except for when its rainy and cold.
Its been a while and a lot has happened but I can probably only remember one or two things.
Firstly, I had a whirlwind trip across the world and back again. It started well - as in, everything was great until I tried to actually leave the country. My flight, due to a typhoon, was delayed by 9 hours, which meant, I had no chance of getting my connection from London to Amsterdam. I was impressively calm (crying for only about 15 minutes to my Mum) and organised a hotel and a new flight once I hit London. All this for only the extra cost of the hotel which was a crazy cheap $90. For London - crazy cheap.
By the time I finally arrived I had the face of a severe bee sting victim and was pretty much dazed and confused until I was met (after 38hrs travelling in total) by my wonderful friends in Amsterdam.
I had 4 days there and can I just say, if you have never been to Amsterdam, please find a reason to go there. Its a truly lovely city with more than just drugs and a red light district (though they are a pretty interesting draw card!) and just knowing that the lovely Damien lives there is enough to make this place a very special one. Damien, as ever, was the most gracious of hosts, even entertaining my need to hunt down a little comic book shop nestled in one of the residential areas. This was my celebrity sighting for the trip. I normally have one every overseas adventure. Last year it was Sam Shepherd, Liam Gallagher, Rhea Pearlman and Julie Delpy. This year, disguised with weightloss and a funky pair of glasses it was Seth Rogen. Or Rogan. Or Brogan. Anyway, you know that guy from Knocked Up? Him. Alas, due to my not really knowing his name, I chose not to say hello and instead walked out of the store saying "You know, Knocked Up? That guy. The chubby one, but he's not chubby now. Him. You know him. Come On!!!!"
After a wonderful few days I left Amsterdam to hit the ground running in dear old Dublin. And then it was 8 days of camping, rock festivalling, pinting, laughing, crying, eating, drinking and reminiscing. All the familiar faces, streets, sights.... one day of sunshine - which I managed a touch of sunburn from! - and not nearly long enough. The Electric Picnic was as ever, brilliant. Sinead O'Connor. Franz Ferdinand. The Presets. Grace Jones. Gomez. Duffy. And like a heap more that I cannot remember. There were a few hiccups though - no. 1 being toilets and the lack of them. And the lack of them being emptied. Yep. 3 days of overflowing portaloos.... sorry, but its true. This indeed dampened the spirits of (mainly female) picnickers, but somehow we carried on regardless and managed to keep smiling and dancing even when stuck in a muddy paddock for 1hr trying to leave. Ahh Ireland.
Leaving much too soon and yet feeling like I had been travelling for months, I was then back to London for some West End action, a drunken pub crawl with two British comedians, a boozy lunch at Harvey Nichols and a lot of melancholic sighing as I wished I could stay another few days.
Before I could say "where do I collect my duty free" I was back in my apartment and stuck with some jetlag and the face slap that is my real life.
To avoid post-travel blues there is only one sure fire way - keep travelling. Since I have gotten back I have had 2 trips to Melbourne and 2 trips to Adelaide. I have had nephews being Christened and nephews turning 1 and fly by gigs and joyous reunions with dearly missed loved ones.
And I had Beaconsfield the Musical. I spent one brilliant week in Melbourne for the Fringe Festival performing in Beaconsfield the Musical. It was a somewhat controversial show and managed to make headlines across Australia including a headlining possie on A Current Affair. So in a week where we were under media scrutiny and having only had 5 rehearsals, we opened and did a 5 night run to sell out audiences (ok, so the theatre only held about 30 - still, it sold out!) and rave reviews. I was so proud to be a part of it and it looks like we are going to hit the road and so some shows in Sydney, Adelaide and Melbourne in 2009! Very exciting.
Oh and I purchased a new washing machine. A brand new one. How very adult of me!
So that has been the last 2 months of my life. Very exciting. I am now possibly about to stare down the barrell of dispair as my tax bill is about to arrive and I have the rest of the year to think about how much I want to resign from my job and escape any ruts that see fit to place themselves in front of me. We'll see.
I have another trip to Melbourne in just over a week. That may stave it off a little longer. Gosh but how I love that city .... you know, except for when its rainy and cold.
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