Culture Shock

My workplace is an extraordinary place. It's like its own little community, with its own laws, its own hierarchy, in short, its own way of doing things.
The average age of the average employee is 54.
English is the 3rd most popular language spoken at home.
There are around 400 employees in my division and about 30 of them are female.
When I started working here eight years ago, to be frank, it was quite the culture shock.

It wasn't just the swearing. I mean, I have heard my fair share of cussing if you know what I mean, but it was well above the usual usage of certain words normally reserved for such occasions as hitting your thumb with a hammer.
It wasn't just the manner in which I was suddenly referred to as "girl". I mean, I was a girl when I started work and from all reports, I am still, a girl.(though somewhat older, I can still get away with pony tails).
It wasn't even the discovery of the piss bottle that had me raising an eyebrow. Afterall, if you worked outside all day, driving around from suburb to suburb in a truck, there are going to be times when you just can't make it back to the office for a wee right? I mean, you gotta go when you gotta go right? (though there are somethings that a girl just doesn't need to know about...)

What was the biggest culture shock for me, and still takes me aback at times, is the manner in which my co-workers feel free to comment, without censor, on my life, my looks, my everything.

Example 1.
One day I ate an apple. In fact, I have been known to eat apples from time to time as I like them. This apple eating incident was witnessed by Giovanni Santo who commented with "Ah, its good that you are on a diet. You are fat."
Ummm, not on a diet actually, just eating an apple!

Example 2.
"Amanda, I was thinking about you last night. I saw an ad for contestants on The Biggest Loser and thought you know, maybe that is your way to get on tele. You know, coz of your acting and stuff."
Did he just call me fat as well?

Example 3.
"Girl, why aren't you married?" - ummm, because I have not met the right guy yet? "No, its because you talk too much." Ummmm, thanks for that.

Example 4.
When trying to work out a nice place to go for lunch, "Lets ask Amanda, she looks like she knows where to get good food." WHAT???

Example 5.
After I turned down the invitation from a co-worker to go on a date with him, "I don't want to marry you, I just want to give you one."
Yeah, a sweet talker!

Example 6.
"Your hair looks nice"
I reply with gratitude.
"You washed it I think. It looked dirty yesterday."
Wow. Thems detective skills right there.

I could go on and on, but basically it all boils down to me being fat, unmarried, talkative with dirty hair. Though, apparently, if most of the men here were twenty years younger, well, I would need to watch out.

And on the plus side, I can say shit in eight different languages.