This is mainly due to one thing. My job.
Now to be fair, I should give a little history.
I have been employed by a pretty great company for 9 years. Before that I have worked at approx 18 jobs and the record length of full time employment was just over a year. I had never been fired from a job and had happily moved on whenever I a) got bored or b) cried in the shower at the thought of having to go into the office that day.
Then there is this job.
I am good at it. Over the years I have picked things up quickly. Spoken my mind and been listened to. Changed things for the better. Made a difference. In general, I did not mind getting up every day and heading off to the office - even when that office changed its location daily and even though the day started at a stupid 7am.
Things did start to change though.
The last 2 years in particular. Things that I had thought were important I realised no one else did. Things I had stood up for, fought for and worked hard for were suddenly for nothing. People had always said to me "you know, one day we'll wipe that smile from your face" referring to the idea that I would become as "institutionalised" and "cynical" as the rest of them.
I honestly thought I would never be like that.
And yet.... I am.
We all moved into a new big sparkly building. Revolving doors. Fancy toilets. Coffee machines. These were just shiny distractions though, covering up the fact that we were being centralised. That we were being reformed. Reorganised. Reviewed.
Suddenly we have union meetings and tense discussions and work bans. All very grown up. All very uncomfortable.
And even pushing all of that aside, I basically, through not being assigned a desk (apparently full time employment for 9 years does not guarantee me somewhere to sit!) have not really done anything for a few months.
I sit somewhere different pretty much everyday. Because I move, people don't see me and eventually forget about me. Now even though I am quite a noisy person, lately I have just been really quiet. It's a mini experiment really. I am just waiting for someone to notice I am not about. That I have not done anything for weeks and weeks.
A few weeks ago I found a deserted desk - bona fide vacant - and I have taken up residence. It's on the Northern sunny side of the building. The department I work for is on the colder Southern side.
Out of sight, out of mind. This is indeed how it would seem.
The problem now though, since I still insist on being a do-gooder and turning up at 7am every day and staying put til 3.25pm, is how to fill though hours.
You see, the less you do, the less you can do. Boredom breeds laziness. I can barely be bothered finishing this post, but since it's the first thing I have really put any thought into this week, I have the tiniest feeling of accomplishment waiting in the wings for me the moment I hit "publish post" - this task I shall follow through!
So, how to kill a work day? (day after day after day?)
Firstly - breakfast. I have breakfast at work everyday, after all I start at 7am. But you can bet I make breakfast slowly here, waiting for the oats to become porridge, filling up the sugar canisters, the coffee and tea canisters, cleaning up the benches and wiping down the sinks. This, coupled with the actual eating of breakfast at my newly acquired desk takes me til about 7.30am.
Then there is washing up to be done. After all, dried porridge is hard to remove. You gotta wash that bowl right away. While you're there, how bout you say hello to some work colleagues. Ask about their weekend, heck, tell them about yours, I am pretty sure you just got yourself all the way to 8am.
Now for emails. You have to read them. All of them. All those newsletters you get from various places telling you about holiday deals or first release concert tickets - read them. Maybe even reply to a few.
Open an excel document, perhaps a word document. Just have it there, in case. These days I certainly don't hide the fact that I have nothing to do, but I used to have a spreadsheet open to at least give the impression that I am not just reading the entire Internet. Quite often I would use the spreadsheet - to do my budget or list some songs that I know that I may one day decide to put in a one woman show, probably about the soul destroying effects of office work? (pretty sure that's been done a million times though!)
You'll need toilets breaks and cups of tea. Water bottle refills. Trips to the stationary cupboard. These should all be accompanied with friendly hellos to your fellow man. Before you know it, it's time for lunch.
Call your mum. That usually kills a good half hour.
The rest of the day is spent reading other peoples blogs, entering on line competitions, donating plasma at the blood bank (that's once a month for me and takes up a glorious 2 hours!) making lists, designing the weeks dinner menus and tweeting. Before you can say "employee of the month" the clock hits 3.25pm you have to pack up your belongings my friend, for you just killed a day.
There comes a time however, mine came last Friday, when you cannot do this any longer. When the boredom is so intense that you lose your shit over a the smallest thing and find yourself in a day of meetings concerning your future and how management can put into place some damage control. Apparently things are about to change for me and I have a few weeks ahead where I can start feeling productive again. I hope so ... oh my freaking god I really do hope so!
