Blah.

I could not get out of bed this morning. I just did not want to. Not through lack of sleep - actually for the first time in a while I had a long, deep, fitful sleep. No, I was very wide awake and just did not want to leave my bed.
Previously in my life, when I have felt this way, or if I cried in the shower, it was time to resign. I have had something like 18 jobs in my 17 years of employment - and the last 7 years have been spent with my current employer. The only thing I have stuck to longer than this job was school - which was obligatory, and being a Buckley, which, while enjoyable, has been unavoidable.
Now that I have some sort of history here, the previous manner in which I disposed of my jobs cannot be used. I have rent to pay. I am accustomed to a standard of living. I am debt free. So why would I chuck it in.
I had a panic attack yesterday. Now, it could've been because yet again I have decided to take another month off work to head to Melbourne and the Comedy Festival and I even purchased my airfare. But that shouldn't have been it. Thats fun stuff right?
And work is not that bad. I mean, here I am, happy with the fallling rain (profits perhaps?) up in the Northern Beaches, posting a blog entry instead of working. Thats not too terrible is it? And most of the people are lovely. The few that are not, well, they are kinda entertaining in an annoying way and can actually spice the day up with ridiculous behaviour.

So why did I have a panic attack and whats this pain in my neck that is not muscular - all I'm saying is, it might be a clot. And it might be travelling to my brain. And if I die unexpectedly, will I regret not resigning today???????

Can someone pass me a paper bag please!