Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Good Bye Uncle John

Recently my Mum rang me. It was early in the morning -well, early for her- and so immediately I felt like something was amiss.
She said that John O'Leary had died. She said it twice. I heard her clearly, but still needed her to repeat it - but it could not have been true. John O'Leary could not have died. No way. This was just not possible.
Immediately, like we do with death, my head was swimming with thoughts and regrets. When was the last time I saw him? What had we spoken about? Did he know I loved him and that although he technically was my Dad's cousin and not actually my Uncle, I thought of him in every way as my Uncle and that my childhood is littered with stories and memories of Uncle John.
He was that man. You know, the one who was a rodeo champion in the Northern Territory, that went on a crazy cowboy adventure through New Zealand, who was a prison warden at Goulburn Gaol, who was a beekeeper, who was a fisherman, who was a handyman, who was a storyteller, who was a larrikan. Who was a character. Who was the joy and laughter of every family gathering.
The last few times I have gone to Goulburn, it has been to attend a funeral. We would usually have met at Uncle Johns. We would have also gone back to Uncle Johns after the service, to talk, remember, laugh. How could it be that there we would all be again, but this time for Uncle John? It was just not right. I still struggle to believe he is not going to enter the room asking if any of the guys need a beer or if the ladies need their wine glasses refilled.
And his wife. Marleine. I cannot stop thinking about her. These two people made marriage look great. Only last year they renewed their vows. I cannot stop thinking how lucky it was they did that. How happy together they have been for years and years. I hurt for Marleine. I have no idea how she must feel. But by gosh did he love her. That's a pretty comforting thought. He loved her and she loved him and we all knew it.
Perhaps it is because of the age similarities that I have also dwelled a little too long about my parents and what will happen when.... well, I don't even want to write it.
I have actually been surprised by how moved I have been. Both at the feeling of loss but also at the warmth and comfort I have seen throughout my family. I don't think I have ever hugged my brother so tightly.
It's been a sad week - and I think there are some sad times to come - but I am so so lucky. To be a part of a family like mine, well, I will never take that for granted for a minute. Nor will I ever forget what a great man John O'Leary was. He is going to be missed, but as they say, he won't be forgotten. Not for a long long time. That is for sure.

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