Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Walk like an Egyptian

I am all for advancement.
Endeavours.
Adventures.
I would like to think that if a friend of mine came to me with a plan on how they wanted to achieve a personal goal, or heck, if they were just going to undertake a crazy get rich quick scheme (because of course that would entail hilarity and hi jinx and tales to tell over beers), I would be supportive.
I know that in the future, I will probably make an announcement to my friends and family that I will be turning my back on conventional money making ventures (read: jobs) and opting for the more sporadic and reliably unreliable world of entertainment on a full time scale. And I would hope they would applaud my vision and buy me a drink (probably one of many to come seeings my days will be filled with yet another rejection from a production company, theatre director, record company etc).
What I can tell you though, is that if you ring me up and invite me for a coffee so we can catch up and you can go over a few things with me...and I say yes and it turns out that you just want to me to a) host or b) go to a party designed to make me spend money on things I do not really need all under the guise of it being fun and convenient, I will be none too happy.
The modern day pyramid. I am faced with this on a daily basis. I work with a "consultant", my friends mother is a "consultant", everyone seems to know someone who is "consulting" and who can read any situation as being a call to arms for the product of choice.
eg.
"Whats for lunch?"
"Leftovers"
"ahhhh, you know Tupperware never stains and can be put in the freezer and microwave and has a lifetime guarantee...I have this brochure...."
"...hmngh phgsno...." (mouth full of food)
One cannot apply hand cream in the office without a "this one uses lavender and is on special"....and heaven forbid I yawn..."we do a relaxation spa that really relieves stress and will help you sleep...." Maybe, just maybe, I like being tired and stressed with slightly dry skin, and maybe I like the look of old spaghetti sauce stained onto my lunch container.....
If I want something I will come to you!!!!!!!!
Now, I have to go and tell some friends, so they can tell their friends.

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