Kicking the Habit

I am an addict.

I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.
I used to drink 12 cups of coffee.

The cigarettes were replaced with my biting of fingernails and the coffee gave way to copious amounts of tea. (well, if was good enough for the Beatles....)

Now its email. And texting. But a milestone has been reached. Yesterday I went a WHOLE DAY without sending an email or a text message. Yes, sure, I have gotten a wee hit this morning, but cutting down is surely progress, right?

I need to be distracted, to fill my time elsewhere....this doesn't necessarily stop me from thinking about sending emails etc, but its positive action surely.

More time going for walks perhaps? Yes, good walks - heightens the senses, good for the body and soul....only problem with exercise is my hair. Modern hair styles (layers you see) mean your hair, while fabulous and voluminous, is hard to tie up and out of your face, which is necessary for those Buckley miles I intend on undertaking. And really, its cold these days, that does terrible things to my hair... maybe I should stay indoors a little longer, until it warms up a bit....

Surely one email won't hurt?

Reasons to smile....

So, I realised that the last three posts of mine have been not my usual brand of "sunshine and lollipops". In fact, they have all been rather whingey and whiney and though, admittedly, that has been the mood at the time of posting, I felt it would be remiss of me not to now point out all the things that are making me feel, as the Carpenters might say, on top of the world.
1. a recent day trip to Malaysia
2. the recent season of Blank! The Musical (which may I add was a smash!)
3. a visit to Adelaide and my sister and my nephew
4. a commercial I just filmed
5. news that Susie and I will perform at Edinburgh Fringe Festival
6. the Gertie and Lance hook-up
7. The Four Coasters
8. all the fun of Celebrity Theatresports weekend extravaganza
9. a new season of Australian Idol
10. The Cure concert
11. an overseas trip in under four weeks!

So yeah, I smile a lot.

A retraction, of sorts.

So I usually like Mondays. But not today. I would normally tut tut any Monday nay-sayers for their lack of vision. For their stereotypical negativity. Not today. Today I am with you all.
My kingdom to just crawl under the covers and stay there forever.

I had a very poor nights sleep. Nightmares galore. And I have hurt my back. So every jolt of fright that sent me upright was accompanied by a fair dose of pain. And here, at my desk, I am like a dodgy old lady...I could barely brush my hair. So I am like a dodgy old bag lady.

And just as I was sitting down to a bowl of porridge and cup of coffee to at least act as some sort of comforting hug to my morning, a guy kicked my desk - (well, he didn't mean to, he was retelling a sporting moment from his weekend) - knocking my coffee over and chipping my mug!
Sure, mugs come and go, but this mug was special. I bought it when I was in Scotland, in a little seaside village called Nairn. There were two types of mugs. Those that said "Happy" and those that said "Grumpy" - each came with its own little stick figure drawing reflecting their happiness or grumpiness. I chose "Happy". I have received a lot of criticism because of that mug.
"Oh rub it in why don't you!" grumble the smile police most Mondays.
Well now the mug is chipped. Happy now? Not really. Kinda grumpy actually.

So, just for today, here's to the Boomtown Rats.

I don't like Mondays either.

Its just good manners....

If you were to say, almost kill someone by running them off the road onto a footpath and possibly into the arms of a shopfront, you might feel the need to stop, slow down or at the very least, give one of those comforting thank you waves. Wouldn't you? Because that would be the good mannerly thing to do.

Apparently not if you are the maniac driving the silver mercedes this morning. Just so you know, I AM FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Although, being almost killed on the road at 6:45am has put a little dampner on my day and lets not even talk about the toll having my heart skip several beats as I nearly mounted the pavement has taken on me.

It made think though, just so you all know, if I was killed this morning, I really wished I was more forceful with my landlord. I mean seriously, how many nights does a woman have to be locked out of her entire building before he does something about it???

(Oh, and that I love you all.)

Slowly, but surely, they drew their plans against us!

And slowly but surely, my fear of fears presents itself.
Yes. Its true. There is something I fear more than being draped in velvet -

Aliens.

When I was about 4 - 5 (just coming to terms with a rather disturbing past-life memory) my Dad came into possession of a copy of the BBC Orchestra's War of the Worlds. (with narration by Richard Burton) He used to play it quite regularly (remembering that he would have been a man in his early-mid thirties) and got quite a kick out of the fear it put in me. I was petrified by it. The opening strains would send me to my room....the opening of the pods would send me under my bed....the "dooooolahs" would induce urination. This was frightening stuff and has scarred me quite a lot.

Later this year, War of the Worlds is being brought to life once again in one of those mega-spectacular concert thingys (and they said chances of anything coming from Mars was a million to one!) and so, on an almost daily basis, I am at fears doorstep. The sudden, unexpected refrains of the "dooooolahs" startle me while I am just innocently trying to send a few emails to friends. Whats with that? I am shaken, anxious, ever so slightly disturbed. Damn you commercial radio and your incessant advertising.

And as for you Terry Buckley, you cheeky man, you have a lot to answer for.

For some reason, blogger folk won't let me give this post a title. I had a corker planned too, alas, its not meant to be....

I will mention though that I was awoken in the dead of night by a text message. It was from a number I did not recognise but the message sounded like it was meant for me -

"ha ha kudos to you x " smiley face.

Well, for this I did not mind being woken up for. A mystery well wisher - giving me the kudos I must certainly have deserved. After the doubts of my karmic goodness I have been reassured by loved ones that indeed, its OK that I enjoy my good fortune of late - the fact that God created me with a pug nose and poor balance and haptodysphoria has meant really, I have been climbing (awkwardly) uphill for years. Yes, kudos to me indeed. And from a stranger no less. Oh happy day. Bless and joy to you all etc....then it was back to sleepy good times with a warmth in my heart and a smile on my face....

And then...

My phone beeps once more.
Whats this? More messages of happy tidings? Maybe a compliment for my new haircut? Possibly a young man, intoxicated by my sweet laugh and moderate temperament confessing his secret admiration?

"Sorry. Wrong person."

Oh.

Yeah well kudos is a stupid word anyway.

Karma Police

I spent most of last night face down on the floor making a lot of noise. Yes, I was performing in the Impro Australia "Imprano's" season at Belvoir St Theatre - and my mobster character was Anna Nicole Smith & Wesson (deadly with her double barrel - oh yes, the puns kept coming!)
Needless to say, I would be considered rather disrespectful toward this recently departed womans memory - I was trashy. I was messy. I was incredibly annoying.... the karmic balance though to this? More bruises. And aches. Falling over, repeatedly, in heels will eventually take its toll.

I am all about the karmic balance - and of late, I have been rewarded repeatedly for things I honestly would not know about. A whole bunch of happy fell into my lap over the last few months....and I can feel the darkness creep in....have I earnt all this good fortune??? I would not have thought so, indeed this means I had better start doing some good - and quickly....and I think its going to take more than a plasma donation (which look, while I am here, I would really recommend.....or maybe just blood - seriously, I mean, its once every three months - and it can save like three lives....unless you are pregnant, have a cardiac based medical condition or have lived in the UK for more than 6 months prior to 1996, then you cannot donate...just so you know)...

I have no reason to be suspicious...and yet, I am. Will it all come crashing down on me? Or can I give back enough to the powers that be in time to keep the goodness coming?

And does not throwing a tantrum in traffic count as a good deed?